Thursday, November 14, 2013
Advanced?
I know as moms, we tend to think our kids are amazing and advanced and beyond their years and so talented. We love our babies and it's natural. But do you ever wonder if they really are advanced?
With the ever-prevailing Mommy Wars, it's hard to really wonder if your kid is really advanced or if you're just inflating their accomplishments and shoving them in others' faces. It's wonderful to believe in your kid, but I think we often times compare too much just for the sake of validating our jobs as mothers.
Of course, I'm proud of Auds and her efforts and love her unconditionally. But it's come to pass lately that everyone who helps her - teacher, Sunday School teachers, children's pastor - has been raving about how amazing she is and how she's excelling and how special and different she is.
At first, I thought it was just them being polite. No one really wants to tell a parent that their kid is a bad egg or falling behind.
But I saw something yesterday that made me wonder if they're onto something. Auds goes to a very small private Christian academy and the teachers and administrators and parents keep up with each other on Facebook. I was tagged in a turkey that Auds colored in class. The class entered all of the students in a coloring contest.
Me being proud, I took a screen shot and emailed my husband. The screen shot included all of the pages from the class. He replied back that he agrees her Turkey is beautiful, but he kind of felt bad for he others. At first I thought he was downplaying her abilities, but then he said that the other kids' work looks years behind. No coloring in the lines, etc.
I told him that every kid has different strengths and maybe Auds will be an artist like I am. But then he remembered that she's the only kid in her class that got S+ on all of her criteria (they don't use ABC til later on, it's just not satisfactory, satisfactory, and beyond satisfactory in kindergarten). And she was chosen as the first student of the month for the school.
He said he felt bad because he didn't want the other kids to not feel like they measure up, but didn't want out daughter to think she was better than them.
Right now, we just tell her we're proud of her and love her no matter what. She has no idea of what people say about her and her work. But how do I handle that if she does start noticing? I always tell her that everyone is different and has different strengths, but how do I keep her innocent of being judgmental and the Mommy War competitions that abound?
How sad is it that I'm worried about this in prek? I just want her to learn and grow. Am I perpetuating the MWs by thinking she's advanced?
With the ever-prevailing Mommy Wars, it's hard to really wonder if your kid is really advanced or if you're just inflating their accomplishments and shoving them in others' faces. It's wonderful to believe in your kid, but I think we often times compare too much just for the sake of validating our jobs as mothers.
Of course, I'm proud of Auds and her efforts and love her unconditionally. But it's come to pass lately that everyone who helps her - teacher, Sunday School teachers, children's pastor - has been raving about how amazing she is and how she's excelling and how special and different she is.
At first, I thought it was just them being polite. No one really wants to tell a parent that their kid is a bad egg or falling behind.
But I saw something yesterday that made me wonder if they're onto something. Auds goes to a very small private Christian academy and the teachers and administrators and parents keep up with each other on Facebook. I was tagged in a turkey that Auds colored in class. The class entered all of the students in a coloring contest.
Me being proud, I took a screen shot and emailed my husband. The screen shot included all of the pages from the class. He replied back that he agrees her Turkey is beautiful, but he kind of felt bad for he others. At first I thought he was downplaying her abilities, but then he said that the other kids' work looks years behind. No coloring in the lines, etc.
I told him that every kid has different strengths and maybe Auds will be an artist like I am. But then he remembered that she's the only kid in her class that got S+ on all of her criteria (they don't use ABC til later on, it's just not satisfactory, satisfactory, and beyond satisfactory in kindergarten). And she was chosen as the first student of the month for the school.
He said he felt bad because he didn't want the other kids to not feel like they measure up, but didn't want out daughter to think she was better than them.
Right now, we just tell her we're proud of her and love her no matter what. She has no idea of what people say about her and her work. But how do I handle that if she does start noticing? I always tell her that everyone is different and has different strengths, but how do I keep her innocent of being judgmental and the Mommy War competitions that abound?
How sad is it that I'm worried about this in prek? I just want her to learn and grow. Am I perpetuating the MWs by thinking she's advanced?
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Turned Tables
Last year I had a babysitter/assistant. She would come with me on sessions and help with gear. She'd also watch my kids during studio sessions and help with laundry -a God-send!
Then she got pregnant and had the sweetest little girl. At first the baby daddy didn't want anything to do with them so I was her go-to for answers and advice. Then he decided that he'd try to man -up and they'd make a family. Life was blissful and I was happy for her and prayed or would work out for the better.
After a few months he decided fatherhood wasn't for him and left, leaving mom and baby devastated. My husband became her lawyer for a custody battle and I became a babysitter. We love these girls and want to see the mom succeed. She's a young, single mother trying to work and finish college while nurturing her little angel. And we're here to help her, bless her, and pray for her.
I've now got a little lady at school, a preschooler, a crawler, and a roller and I love it.
So, in the course of a year, I went from having a babysitter who did my laundry to being a babysitter drowning in laundry. And I've never been happier. I feel that I am happiest when I can serve others and that this is the greatest opportunity I've had to show God's love. God requires open hearts, not empty laundry baskets.
But, if you know where the laundry fairy is, send her my way!
Then she got pregnant and had the sweetest little girl. At first the baby daddy didn't want anything to do with them so I was her go-to for answers and advice. Then he decided that he'd try to man -up and they'd make a family. Life was blissful and I was happy for her and prayed or would work out for the better.
After a few months he decided fatherhood wasn't for him and left, leaving mom and baby devastated. My husband became her lawyer for a custody battle and I became a babysitter. We love these girls and want to see the mom succeed. She's a young, single mother trying to work and finish college while nurturing her little angel. And we're here to help her, bless her, and pray for her.
I've now got a little lady at school, a preschooler, a crawler, and a roller and I love it.
So, in the course of a year, I went from having a babysitter who did my laundry to being a babysitter drowning in laundry. And I've never been happier. I feel that I am happiest when I can serve others and that this is the greatest opportunity I've had to show God's love. God requires open hearts, not empty laundry baskets.
But, if you know where the laundry fairy is, send her my way!
Friday, November 1, 2013
Happy Halloween !
This year's Halloween has been memorable. Horrible weather caused mass confusion and debate among towns and cities over celebrating early vs. holding out vs. celebrating over the weekend. It's been a week-long production here coz hard-headed Cajuns can't agree on anything.
We were going to have a big event at the church, but it got postponed until this weekend. So what did we do? Had our own indoor celebration, of course!
Auds had picked out everyone's costumes earlier in the month. She was a kitty cat complete with rhinestone ears, Tony was a dragon, and Drum was a precious lion.
The kids all dressed up and we played indoor ToT -which is kinda like hide-and-seek, except you get candy. Beau and I hid behind doors and opened them to give the kids candy. Once they found us they had to go back to their rooms and find us again. They had a blast! They then got to pick two pieces of candy and we had family night all cuddled up inside and watched a movie.
I'm so glad that we were able to make the best of it and still create memories for our babies. I held them extra tight knowing that a mom I know was battling hell because her daughter ran away.
The family are new Christians and have had a long road to Jesus. Both parents have many kids from many different relationships as one together. The mom was strung out on drugs and the dad was doing a long stint in jail and their daughter together was almost 13 and pregnant when they came to Him. Through His grace they have turned their lives around and are offering stability for their daughter and grandson.
The girl, now 15, was feeling pressure because she saw her friends without kids living a seemingly carefree life and her half-siblings weren't living for God. So she ran away with a boy she wasn't even in a serious relationship with. Thankfully, Beau overheard her sharing her plans with a girl in our Sunday School class and on of her friends got the number of the license plate of the car she left school in. I spent all day yesterday helping to lead the effort to find her, putting together pieces of information, praying, answering questions, etc.
But thank God she came to her senses and came home last night! Please cover this family in prayer as they try to mend these wounds and move forward. I can't imagine going through that. I pray I never do.
I thank God my kids don't know the heartache I grew up with and can be reared in a home of love and faith. And a good but of fun, too.
We were going to have a big event at the church, but it got postponed until this weekend. So what did we do? Had our own indoor celebration, of course!
Auds had picked out everyone's costumes earlier in the month. She was a kitty cat complete with rhinestone ears, Tony was a dragon, and Drum was a precious lion.
The kids all dressed up and we played indoor ToT -which is kinda like hide-and-seek, except you get candy. Beau and I hid behind doors and opened them to give the kids candy. Once they found us they had to go back to their rooms and find us again. They had a blast! They then got to pick two pieces of candy and we had family night all cuddled up inside and watched a movie.
I'm so glad that we were able to make the best of it and still create memories for our babies. I held them extra tight knowing that a mom I know was battling hell because her daughter ran away.
The family are new Christians and have had a long road to Jesus. Both parents have many kids from many different relationships as one together. The mom was strung out on drugs and the dad was doing a long stint in jail and their daughter together was almost 13 and pregnant when they came to Him. Through His grace they have turned their lives around and are offering stability for their daughter and grandson.
The girl, now 15, was feeling pressure because she saw her friends without kids living a seemingly carefree life and her half-siblings weren't living for God. So she ran away with a boy she wasn't even in a serious relationship with. Thankfully, Beau overheard her sharing her plans with a girl in our Sunday School class and on of her friends got the number of the license plate of the car she left school in. I spent all day yesterday helping to lead the effort to find her, putting together pieces of information, praying, answering questions, etc.
But thank God she came to her senses and came home last night! Please cover this family in prayer as they try to mend these wounds and move forward. I can't imagine going through that. I pray I never do.
I thank God my kids don't know the heartache I grew up with and can be reared in a home of love and faith. And a good but of fun, too.
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