To Train Up a Child

I don't mean that in a pro-Pearl/baby wise/punitive parenting way. If that's your cup of tea, no judgment here. But I take a different approach to rearing.

And can I have a mini vent here? Golly, I feel like my high school AP English teacher Mrs. Hall. You rear children. You raise crops. If your kid ain't an ear of corn, use rear, not raise. That isn't directed at anyone in particular. I just see it all.the.time from moms and it drives me bonkers. Was I the only one taught that the proper verb to bring up children is rear? Is that really not something known? Or is is a specific/Pacific ask/axe thing?

Anyway, soap box put away now. I think that one of the scariest challenges I face as a mom is the spiritual well being of my kids. Yes, I know that we are all free moral agents and that they will make their own decisions. But how I rear them and teach them will have a big impact on how they decide to live. If not for the grace of God I would be in a very, very, very different place because of how I was reared.

We are instructed to help and to guide our children in their formative years so that they will not stray from the path God called them to in the future. That's scary. What if I screw up? What if I don't show them how much God loves them and they take Him and His Church as just common place and something that doesn't matter?

But what if I push too hard and make them want to leave God and His Church because they feel I didn't present it with enough love but rather too much law (not discounting the law)?

I find it a fine balance to show my children how vitally important His Word is and how amazing He is but to do so with so much love and compassion that they seek after God and don't feel it a burden. That's how God intended it.

But, let's be honest. Sometimes when parenting amongst endless questions and emotional outbursts that happen (toddler through teen and beyond) it's so much easier to just want to refute with "because" and to just want cooperation. "But why do I have to go to Sunday School? Why can't I sleep in?" Hearing that when you're already behind schedule and the toddler just pooped all over his outfit and you're trying not to throw up can make your heart sink. Not that it's an early sign of a future corner-dweller in the making, but it can be easier to just say "because!" than to sit down and explain that the Scripture says to "not forsake the assembling of ourselves" or "how can we be saved but by hearing the Word of God?"

Although we know it's not that easy, the temptation is there to just want ease for the sake of ease when you have a full plate -whether with one kid or 20.

And then there's preparing them to stand on their own two feet in a fallen world without sheltering them too much that they go crazy when tempted outside of the home. But you also don't want to present our fallen world in such a manner that grave sins are common place and no big deal.

I know God's grace abounds and He washes our sins- and we all sin. But if I can save my kids from the heartache the world, then I'm all for it.

However you approach it, it is a weighty blessing to rear our children and pray that we do so in a way that will serve them well in life. Am I the only one who freaks out about this sometimes? I want my kids to love The Lord but not to do so out of a sense of obligation to me. I want to help cultivate a genuine relationship.

I do, however, feel so much better when Auds comes to me and tells me she can't wait to be buried with Jesus in baptism. I definitely cried when she told me that. It gives me hope that I'm doing something right in finding a balance in cultivating their spiritual maturity and relationship with God.