PA Letter

Sometimes it just feels good (to the flesh) to be a little passive aggressive and whiny. Now, I know it's better to die daily and put your big girl panties on, but I don't think anyone will ever read this, so it's more of a catharsis than something I would actually tell anyone.

Yup, it's a passive aggressive letter regarding the negative statements/questions that I've been getting lately.

Yes, I am still pregnant.
No, I am not due yet.
No, I am not blessed with twins.
Yes, I am sure.
Yes, I know how big I am. But my midwife is actually concerned about me NOT gaining enough weight. I am not worried about the baby weight. But, thank you, for pointing out how much bigger I've (not) gotten since yesterday.
Yes, I do already have a boy and a girl.
Yes, we are excited about the addition of another one.
No, I'm not going to induce.
No, I'm not scheduling a section to make it easier.
No, I'm not going to a hospital.
Yes, I am seeing a midwife just to make you uncomfortable. Shall I give birth in your living room to add a cherry on top?
Yes, my midwife is a knowledgeable professional.
No, I'm not putting my baby in danger.
Yes, I am planning on going without an epidural. I've done it before and look forward to again. My body is made for this.
No, I don't care if you think it's the best thing since sliced bread.
If you are having bad feelings/premonitions/dreams/concerns about me and the baby - DON'T tell me. That is not something you tell a woman who is about to deliver and needs positivity.
If you're certain that I'll have to have a section because you did - keep it to yourself, please.
No, I will not be in Facebook while I'm in labor, delivering, or nursing for the first time. I'm okay with not sharing the details of my cervix with you.
No, I will not be calling you immediately after the birth. We will call close friends and family after we are home and have begun to rest and bond as a family.
No, I don't think you are entitled for me to call you as I push the baby out.
Yes, we are going to have the kids there.
Yes, they are excited.
No, you may not come over as soon as we get home. We will call when we are ready for visitors.

I'm sure there are more responses, but that's a pretty good list for now. Why is it that people seem to think that this precious time in life is open to comments from the peanut gallery. Just hush, crazy people!